Prelude to a Parting, by Maya Angelou

[My Postlude]

Beside you, prone, 

my naked skin finds 

fault in touching.

Yet it is you

who draws away.

The tacit fact is:

the awful fear of losing

is not enough to cause

a fleeing love

to stay.

If—

BY RUDYARD KIPLING 

 ..." If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a [woman], my [daughter]!"

Voodoo

Stars align
Moon song
Rain patter
What is this
Energy
Heart song
Heart throb
Wind
Storm
Spring
New leaves

Water flow
Coursing, tumbling, gushing

Rushing
Running
Racing

Surging through my center?

The titans' clash of Hope's defeat over Despair.

The usuallies

Watching the blue sky, today I caught myself singing out loud today and smiled. And 

it’s ok. It’s ok. Usually … my usually… is changing. 

Usually… isn’t my normal. 

Because you’re usual isn’t mine, yet I morph and 

watch you while I float through the air on the ski lift 

and look out and people watch and learn 

and slowly but surely make up my mind. 

So usually I might… but now I frequently… 

and although they regularly…, I habitually … 

and somehow he generally… now I often…  

and we commonly… 

and the usuallies ordinarily go on, for now, together.

Moving on

Resentment is like drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies.

The happy Blues...

"Banks got bailed out, We got sold out!" - Occupy Atlanta

The best taco truck. EVER.

Yes. I made this. B-)

Batman was there.

A little bit of Distrito Federal...

Midsummer Festival

Midsummer Festival

Heartbeat

Nneka's remix with Nas - "Heartbeat"

Starting Over

Starting over can be exhilarating. It is also exhausting.

Home again

sunshine
coffee
choices
colors
green
trees
new car
independence
windows down
wind in my face
friends
true friends
English
courtesy
Southern manners
diversity
I can do whatever I want
old friends
new friends
family time
smiles everywhere
foods i didn't remember missing
sea level
TV (en Ingles!)
shopping
new shoes
heels
new jeans
tops
dancing
laughing
no reggaeton
hiphop
the miracle of the grocery store
debit cards
freedom
going a day without being lied to
i can be me
part of society
i can fit in
i can stand out
she's engaged
he called me
i can call her
even on the other side of the country
we talked for hours
he bought me lunch
coffee with Peter :)
Guess heels
valet parking
bank account in English
no numbers or lines
no one yelling at me
sunshine
un-whitening
or pre-tan
pool
drinks
gym
smiles
cell phone
5 bars
connected
communicating
orienting
i confess
i am
materialistic
for now
yet
grateful
to
be
home
"for good".

Closing Thoughts

Sometimes we take gambles in life. Ecuador was my gamble, and though it was a hard hit, it's not a complete loss. I've learned a lot of Spanish (or figured out how to use cave-man sign language when I can't); become a better teacher; made a few friends; visited a new continent (hell, a new hemisphere); lived at 10,000 feet for over 10 months; tried new things, pushed myself to change; and gained confidence (don't you DARE try to steal my taxi or charge me too much!).  I've learned that this is not the place for me, and that Atlanta is home.

When I get home, there are some things I don't think I will complain about for a long time: proximity to family; being able to leave work at work (most of the time vs. never); real friends; generally open-minded and educated people (who've progressed past the stage of the thinking skin color affects class); general public respect and common courtesy; the ability to say whatever I want to whoever I want; familiar customs; REAL graffiti; insulation in buildings; the independence of my own car; any kind of music 'sides reggaeton; happy diversity and availability of peoples, cultures, lifestyles, and food. Atlanta... I'm COMING HOME. 

Translations

No puedo leer tu mente. Pero... sometimes I have to.


Los estudiantes:
- Mr. Blank face, mouth hanging open - (probably not listening, doesn't know which planet we're on)
- Miss text queen/note queen -(probably gossiping about the latest school crushes)

En la calle:
- Mr. leer-you-out-and-hiss-at-you-while-adjusting-himself - (typical machismo... go home so your mommy can iron your underwear, 40-year-old!)
- Ms. knock-you-out-of-the-way-while-glaring-at-you - (honey, it's a free country - if you're jealous, sorry for ya; if you think you're better, don't stare!)
- Ms. size-2-6-inch-diameter-thighs (honey, just 'cause you're born that way doesn't mean you're better than me. At least I have curves. Your always-tight pants/leggings don't make the camel toe look sexy. And stop calling me "la gordita", my dear "ignoranta.") 

En MI terraza:
- "My plan for life is to find and marry a girl like you." (WTF!)  
- answer: "I know you say that to all the gringas" (the friend rolling on the ground laughing proved me right).
- "No estoy racista" = (you are!!!)
- "I've had black guys put a gun to my head 8 times" (You think this will impress me; you watch too many movies, and if it ever actually happened, it's only because you were on about 3 different things and high outta your mind!, you think your imagination excuses your prejudice, and this proves how little you've been exposed to people different than you)


This seems to be my life, for 2 more months. Walking with my cell phone in my bra, my money and keys in my boots. Trying to blend in, but having to defend and explain myself every time I open my stuttering mouth. Fighting to find sunshine and stay happy in a city where people rarely smile or show courtesy; exhausted from the ingrained prejudice and ignorance. Sick of momma's boys, and the girls who never question the machismo and let the men walk all over them. Fed up with a culture of men who think that they have to call the gays "maricones" in order to prove that they are "real men." (Really? Straight women don't seem to be threatened by lesbians; we don't think we will be infected by sitting around them, or that being around them incriminates us). Bored with a culture that thinks they are superior to all, yet know little of others cultures (Although, this could be some in the U.S., too).

Yes, there are exceptions. Yes, my students and the sunshine makes me smile. Yes, I find things to laugh at. But I'm ready to go home. 2 months from today!

Spring

- It appears that in the 'land without seasons', we actually do having spring.
- Spring Break is in a week and my mom is coming... gonna show her the town, pamper her, go to the beach (Manta), pamper her some more...
- moved into my new, improved, cleaner, warmer, closer... etc... apartment
- Meanwhile, today I asked *him* out, and he said yes (or, claro que si) :).
- Job apps are out

Funny how leaving stress behind can make such a big difference.

Lunch with teacher friends at Parque Itchimbia (overlooking Quito)

Downtown Quito during Carnival

Downtown Quito

Churches of Quito

La calle "La Ronda"

city nights

Last night a friend and I went to her boyfriend's gig downtown in Quito... took the crowded Ecovia then met another chick for pizza at a street cafe, in front of the old Teatro Bolivar (the inside has faced some fires, but still a site so many stories to tell... if walls could talk).

We headed to the concert in la Plaza de San Francisco, and found hundreds of dozens of men and women in uniform... the convent was lit up and the whole side was lined with armed men with berets... it felt like I was stepping back in time to a Soviet May Day parade. Everyone had green uniforms and sharp hats... they were serving hot canelazo from camouflage tents covered in leaves. We sat down and 300-man military band started playing as the sun set and the full moon rose. Above us the panacillo sparkled and the Virgin of Quito watched the city. Their mixes of Strauss and national anthems were highlighted by a fog machine, fireworks, random balls of fire, and multicolored spotlights rotating between them and the audience. The white dress uniforms were sharp, unless you noticed the Ronald-McDonald effect of white laces on shiny black boots. After the show we ran for cover from falling fireworks (fire standards are different here) and hot chocolate in nearby cafe.

Quito... some nights are increible... but my heart and my head are somewhere else.

Miller Family: Pralines

PRALINES

ALMOST CARAMELIZE 1/2 CUP SUGAR

ADD 1-1/2 CUP OF WATER AND 1 SQ. IN. OF BUTTER

HEAT UNTIL DISSOLVED

ADD 2 CUPS OF SUGAR

COOK TO 230° WITHOUT STIRRING

ADD 1 SQ. IN. OF BUTTER AND 2 CUPS PECANS

COOK TO 238°.

REMOVE FROM HEAT

ADD PINCH OF SALT AND 1 TSP OF VANILLA.

BEAT UNTIL BEGINS TO GET LIGHT IN COLOR AND STICKS TO PAN. DROP QUICKLY ON BUTTERED BOARD OR WAX PAPER.

LOOSEN PAPER BEFORE IT COOLS.

Miller Family: Orange Cookies

Orange Cookies
Ingredients
Rind and juice of 2 oranges – about ¾ cup
½	Cup	Butter	¼	Cup		Orange Mixture
1 ¾	Cup	Raw or mixed white and brown Sugar	3	Cups		All Purpose Flour
3	Large	Eggs beaten	2	Teaspoons		Baking Powder
1	Teaspoon	Lemon Flavoring	¼	Teaspoon		Baking soda
½	Cup	Milk		Dash		Salt
Directions
1.            Cream butter and sugar
2.            Add eggs, flavoring, milk and orange mixture.  Mix well.
3.            Add dry ingredients, stirring but not over-mixing.
4.            Spoon out on greased floured cookie tin or onto a pan with waxed paper
5.            Bake at 350° for 8 minutes.  The tops will brown.
6.            Place balls of dough 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.
ICING
1 ½	Lbs	Powdered Sugar	½		Cup	Orange Mixture
2	Tablespoon	Butter
7.            Beat then spread on cookies one minute after cookies are taken from pan
8.            Transfer cookies to wax paper to cool.

Miller Family: Cat Food Cookies

2 c. sugar
1/2 c. milk
1 stick butter
1/4 c. cocoa
1/2 c. peanut butter
3 c. quick oats, uncooked
1 tbsp. vanilla

Combine sugar, milk, butter and cocoa in a saucepan; cook over low heat until mixture boils. Boil 4 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in peanut butter, oats and vanilla. Drop from teaspoonfuls onto waxed paper and let cool.

Weekend

Exams are over! Grades in. Lessons done. I am going to teach about glaciers and watershed (divorsium aquarium?) and have students present to their parents on parent night... not easy, since I don't have a textbook and I've never taught science before! At least I enjoy it :). Enjoy your weekends, friends - wherever you may be.

Paramo Field Trip (13,000 feet!)

On Wednesday of this week, a few other teachers and I took a 3 day, 2 night field trip with 44 of our 6th graders up to the Ecuadorian paramo (ecosystem), where we stayed at a camp that was 3,818 meters (12,526 feet) and hiked up to 4,100 meters (13,451 feet). Surrounded by volcanoes, we could even see into Colombia.

We also stopped and visited the small town of Maravilla, which was settled by Afro-Ecuadorians. They shared their history, pottery, and dances, while their children played with our students in the street. (The story goes that a slave ship traveling to Brazil crashed, and the surviving slaves made their way to Esmaraldas (northern Ecuadorian beach) and settled there. Though there is still quite a bit of prejudice today towards Black Ecuadorians, they are considered a valid part of the society and respected for their culture).

On the bus

With indigenous girls

Handmade Otavalan Tapestries

Otavalan Weaver

Sugar Cane Farm

Sugar Cane Hacienda

Making the "panela" sugar from sugar cane

Guinea Pigs, ripe for the cooking ("Cui)

Milking the cows

Maravilla

Maravilla - the flirting begins

Culture lessons

Handmade pottery

Cabins at Polylepis Lodge

Higher view of Polylepis Lodge

Mud!!!

Muddy boots

Milk at the cheese factory