The Napkin

He sits next to me on the couch after a few beers, and chokes back tears. “I don’t want her to leave me,” he groans. “I love her… but how can you hurt the person you love the most?”

Her blush deepens as the story is told of a shattered romance and unappreciated sacrifices. She wonders if she should leave him, but looks out the window and quietly states that “the problem is that I love him. I look down the napkin she was twisting has become a ring on her finger.

“Twuu Wuv”, crooned the priest. Yet we grind our teeth, swallow tears, and bury heartache for a happiness that is too often only short lived. How few relationships survive. How many hearts have been shattered into pieces only fit for concrete edifices. How many live in guilt and confusion, blaming themselves for the decisions that take two. Whether the agony is worth the ecstasy seems to vary by lover and the time of day. For now, I sit on the sidelines and count the fallen.

Don’t Fence Me In (or, All Hail Incorrigible Ikea the Great)

It was my first time in the (in)famous blue-and-yellow store. Apparently one of the last nations to catch on to the fad, Americans still seems fascinated by furniture that was made, according to the owners, “in places that are the most economically efficient.” As I stumbled around people and furniture of every shade, color, origin, and texture imaginable, the bold statement on a lampshade tag filled my already overwhelmed head with questions “Child labor?” “Free Trade?” “Maquiladoras en Tijuana?”

Something in me has always wanted a life of adventure – I slept on a wooden box for a week at the age of 7 because I wanted to prepare myself for the hardships of a life in a faraway place. When people talked about “settling down” for a career and having a house with things and a “white picket fence,” I’d inwardly laugh because I knew that could never be me.
Slowly life began to build fences around me, and I find myself constantly clawing my way over, under, and through them – yet I find I must treat the Fence with respect, learning to walk on it and quell my longing for the wide open world that still calls my heart to continue an infinite quest … the “fierce independence” that is ME.

Laughing with my friends, I kept telling myself to stop freaking out – that it was just a store, just a sofa. But I felt as if I was carrying around the furniture on my back with me… how can I buy things that tie me down? They are simply pieces of furniture; contracts to a place and inflexibility to an often-thankless job. I left with a plastic silverware divider.

There will be adventure in my new places and new people in a new part of my old city. And I could always buy a $199 black-and-white photo of the Eiffel Tower and pretend I was in Paris.

School's out!!!

I survived my first year of teaching! School is FINALLY out. We waved, hugged, and cried goodbyes to all of the 8th graders last night at the promotional ceremony, and I was delighted to hear that we beat the rest of the county with state test scores.

It's been a difficult but good year. I am far from feeling accomplished or that I am by any stretch of the imagination ready for next year, but as I pack up my classroom and organize past lesson plans, I realize that the number of things I've learned this year is worth every night I went home worn out and weary after a 10-11 hour day.

Detox and relaxation

It's Spring Break for me after all. We didn't do much today - just slept in and I took an amazing long shower (travel shoulders needed it!). We then went to brunch at a friend-of-a-friends amazing little cafe called "Taloolas"* where I had a great cup of organic free-trade coffee and a toasted panini proscuitto sandwich. My friend and I chatted about religion and life while the adorable little towhead next to us threw baby bottles at us.

We took the long route down along the Detroit River (Canadian side) and saw one of the smallest Great Lakes, St. Claire, and then went shopping at the mall. Perhaps it's not that great, but most of the choices are different from what we have in Atlanta so I managed to spend some money and start wondering how I will fit it all in my suitcase. I really did need those H&M black linen pants... I'd been looking for them for a long time...

We dropped by some friends of my hostess and I was delighted beyond words - both the parents in the house (4 kids) are artists of no small creative talent. Their little bungalow was crowded to the extremes with knick-knacks, art and paintings from around the world. The "man of the house" had a beard that reminded me of an ancient Viking combined with a lover of Star Wars (and yes much of his work had that theme :)). He took us outside to his fenced-in back yard where he does what he calls "mud work" - he takes mud and makes delightful fanciful wall hangings such as alligators, the god Pan, frogs, snakes, etc. He had his own pizza oven sitting on his eclectic marble-and-stone patio, and then started talking about not having taken a shower inside for a month. We walked around the corner and found a large hand-made shower! It was decorated with a sea-theme and tiles, and plenty of room. As we left I could only shake my head and wonder if the kids had a clue of how amazing their parents were.

We went back home (not without a delightful stop at Tim Horton's*) where I journaled and surfed travel buddies (so much more fun when you are actually traveling), while my poor hostess stressed over lesson plans. I'm on vacation! Somehow watching someone else stress out when I don't have to lets me detox even more.